pretty bad ass

how bad ass is this. the new tesla all-electric car (that isn't even out yet but is already completely sold out) received a waiver for air bags

it's so cool the government's letting it bypass like the #1 law in automotive safety. BAD. ASS.

Google-China gets my approval

You know how google has ads on the side of gmail? and you know how they're supposed to be somewhat relevant to your email convos (i know, creepy thought)? hahah either that matching algorithm got really fucked up, or google-china just has a sense of humor that normal google lacks.

So I was gmailing a friend in asia last night (i know, gchatting could have just been easier...but we are inefficient, so deal with it) and after a short 5-6 email exchanges about their superbowl party:

H: on a completely unrelated note, gmail has been giving me the weirdest
sponsored links today.

me: yeah i'm getting some weird ads about cellulite, animal cruelty, and beautiful liar ringtones....

H: I win. I'm getting blessedherbs, burning baby fat, photo confetti, b&b, flowers, baggy
workout pants, and organic tampons....

me: HAHAHA i bet this has to do with china's restrictions on google

H: oh wait, i'm getting more winners: oh no - i'm emo, meat = animal cruelty (how could this possibly come up in an email chain between us??), sweet 16 tiaras (maybe it read your mind and knows you used to (still?) watch my super sweet 16), ariat baby buck boot (they have over 82,900+ womens shoes apparently, they must know you like shoes too, but i bet they're all fugly), curly girl design (um, pass.)


unfortunately i went to sleep right before seeing his reply. But now I have some questions:

1. is that supposed to be "oh no - i'm a homo"?
2. wtf is 'ariat baby buck boot'. would you actually name your shoe store that? it sounds like some exotic asian dish. its like a tongue twister too...say it 10 times fast.
3. they make organic tampons?!? SWEET. that ought to save the world. not renewable energy, not fuel cells, not christian bale, but decomposable tampons!

oh man...silly china google. you couldn't even make up stuff like that.

[btw...i name all my friends 'H'. don't even both guessing...]

More will ferrell

MAXim

I found my way to a frat house last night and ended up reading the latest Maxim cover to cover. The original interest was spiked by Heidi Montag on the cover because of course I wanted to read allllll about the Hills from the view of the 'villian'. Really, I was just hoping Maxim would make fun of Spencer Pratt for being an extreme d-bag.

But I was really plesantly surprised by the all the witty articles and caustic comments. The writers are so much meaner (read: better) than the lame pansies in cosmo or glamour. That's the problem with women...they're way too nice. nice doesn't sell, honey. Nice gets you to become the girl next door and makes you desirable for marriage, but that's just so cliche. Maxim's got it right - it's got sex, humor, and witty banter. Seriously what more could you want?

I really think there could be a niche for a cynical magazine for women. maybe cynical is too strong of a word, but something that's anti-romantic comedy or appeals to the realistic and practical women. I seriously wonder why there aren't female versions of michael moore or tucker max. Guess that's the double standard in life, right? A female tucker max would just be STD on legs.

disclaimer: if this entry sounds weird, it's b/c i can't remember the last time I wasn't hungover or drunk.

Australian livin'

my favorite quote is "I'll say 'sorry' but I'm not taking my glasses off. They're famous. everyone likes them."

a girls favorite diamonds...on guys.

SPOTTED: 6 guys wearing argyle sweaters today. and a little baby wearing an argyle hat

can I mention that its barely the afternoon too?

I now make the 16th of every month to be Argyle Day. Im switching my birthday to the 16th as well.

depressing day

even worse than the day i turned 22, i found out today that josh duhamel is now engaged to fug face fergie. I won't put her picture on here in case any of you readers just ate.

7.5 Resolutions

Resolutions resolutions resolutions.

1. stop watching greys anatomy & private practice
these shows seriously suck and there is no plot. the only actress I like is Sandra Oh but unfortunately unless she gets a face transplant, her witty banter just isn't enough.

2. go to every day of physical therapy
help me pray that I get some british physical therapist named Caighton.

3. learn golf
this is also known as 'wear argyle and hit things'

4. stop eating brie cheese like its the food of gods
yeah so I just found out today that calorie-count.com gave cheese an 'F' for health. *sigh*. I think Ben & Jerry's Phish Food gets a better grade. Good thing I just bought a huge wedge today.

5. stop being a pseudo-intellect and pretending that I enjoy reading the Economist
the last time I read it, I spent most of the time giggling over a picture of the dalai lama b/c it looks like he was about to flick off the camera. Yeah...

6. stop complaining about being old
easy fix would just be to make friends with the geriatrics.

7. be nice(r)
yeah...we'll see how this goes considering people are supposed to get more cynical with age.

(8. I would put in 'eat more vegetables' but we all know this would never happen)